“Because of the hardness of your hearts”
In the Gospel Jesus says that it was because of the hardness of hearts that God permitted divorce, but that in the beginning it was not so. It is the hardness of hearts that create offenses against marriage. Below is a list of offenses and a simple definition to better understand the hardness of the human heart and to beg God to give us “a new heart and place a new spirit within you, taking from your bodies your stony hearts and giving you natural hearts.” [1] In order to have the “new heart” we must know that the list below are offenses against God’s will and we must repent of these offenses turning from them and embracing God’s holy and perfect will.
Adultery – Sexual intercourse of a married person and another who is not the wife or husband. Forbidden by the sixth commandment of the Decalogue, it was extended in meaning by Christ, who forbade divorce with the right to remarry during the lifetime of one’s legitimate spouse. [2]
Divorce – Legal separation of husband and wife, or the release by civil authority from any one or more of the bonds of matrimony between them. Imperfect divorce is the separation of husband and wife so that the duty of living together, and sometimes the support, is relaxed, but giving them no right to remarry. Also called separation from bed and board, but not the severance of the primary bond of marriage, which is the exclusive lifelong fidelity in the use of marital rights. [3]
“Today there are numerous Catholics in many countries who have recourse to civil divorce and contract new civil unions. In fidelity to the words of Jesus Christ — ‘Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery’—the Church maintains that a new union cannot be recognized as valid, if the first marriage was. If the divorced are remarried civilly, they find themselves in a situation that objectively contravenes God’s law. Consequently, they cannot receive Eucharistic communion as long as this situation persists. For the same reason, they cannot exercise certain ecclesial responsibilities. Reconciliation through the sacrament of Penance can be granted only to those who have repented for having violated the sign of the covenant and of fidelity to Christ, and who are committed to living in complete continence.” [4]
“The Lord Jesus insisted on the original intention of the Creator who willed that marriage be indissoluble. He abrogates the accommodations that had slipped into the old Law. Between the baptized, ‘a ratified and consummated marriage cannot be dissolved by any human power or for any reason other than death.’” [5]
Polygamy – The status or institution of simultaneous marriage of more than one woman to one man, or of several women to several men. The two forms are polygyny and polyandry. In ordinary use, the term is restricted to polygyny, i.e., where one man is simultaneously married to more than one woman. Polygamy as polygyny is contrary to divine positive law governing the marriage union (Genesis 2:24; Ephesians 5:31). According to the natural law, even successive polygamy (as in societies that legalize marriage after divorce) hinders the proper card and education of children. And it places an intolerable burden on practicing mutual love between spouses. [6]
Didn’t people in the Bible have multiple wives? “In the Old Testament, God tolerated polygamy for a certain time, as it appears from the examples of men such as Abraham, Jacob, and David. But with the proclamation of the New Law, this concession, almost wrested from God by reason of the moral obtuseness of man, was revoked. Marriage was restored to its original unity. The language of Christ is very explicit (Matthew 19:3-9; Mark 10:1-12; Luke 16:18). Catholic tradition has consistently interpreted Christ’s teaching as absolutely forbidding polygamy, and the prohibition was defined by the Council of Trent, pronouncing anathema against anyone who says that ‘it is lawful for Christians to have several wives at the same time, and that it is not forbidden by any divine law.’” [7]
Incest – Sexual intercourse between those who are related by blood or marriage and whom the Church forbids to marry. It is a sin both against chastity and the virtue of piety or reverence due to those closely related to us. Between parent and child, or brother and sister it is also a crime against nature. Incest comes from the Latin in which means not, and castus which means chastity. [8]
Free Union – Free Union includes concubinage, rejection of marriage as such, or the inability to make long-term commitments. The “Free” in Free Union does is not mean the “Free” which is mentioned in the Rite of Marriage, when the Priest or Deacon says, “N. and N., have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?” The “Free” in Free Union is the intention to give the gift of self but with conditions. The conditions are usually opposed to fidelity (faithful) and totality (fully). A free union is not permanent. If a person has rejected marriage, they have probably rejected what they think marriage is, not what it actually is. Marriage has been attacked, scandalized, and even re-defined in our society, so it is no surprise that many would replace what marriage really is with this false idea of marriage. Many are unable to make long-term commitments, if this is the case, the reason for the lack of commitment should be discovered and healed.
[Please see the co-habitation sheet on the packet page of this packet]
Trial Marriage – Trial marriages are similar to test driving a car or renting a house. A person is not an object, to be test driven or rented. Dating, Engagement, and Marriage preparation helps us to discern whether we are willing and able to enter into the Sacrament of Marriage. Marriage is not a trial; it is permanent.
MUSIC – "Marry Me" by Train
This video speaks of the permanence of marriage.
[1] Ezekiel 36:26
[2] Fr. John Hardon S.J.; Modern Catholic Dictionary; page 14
[3] Fr. John Hardon S.J.; Modern Catholic Dictionary; page 167
[4] Catechism of the Catholic Church - 1650
[5] Catechism of the Catholic Church - 2382
[6] Fr. John Hardon S.J.; Modern Catholic Dictionary; page 425
[7] ibid
[8] Fr. John Hardon S.J.; Modern Catholic Dictionary; page 272